(Source: kelmeckis)
“Because in the end, you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that goddamn mountain.”
Jack Kerouac.
“…you won’t remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn.”
How come you never got married?
Jerry: How come you never got married Mr. Fletcher?
Elroy Fletcher: Well, the common story is, the girl that you's gon' ask you waited too long to ask. She went on to marry somebody else and then you can't find anybody to compare to her, so what happens?... You get old.
“At the end of this game, the European Cup will be only six feet away from you, and you’ll not even able to touch it if we lose. And for many of you, that will be the closest you will ever get. Don’t you dare come back in here without giving your all.”
Clown Baby
Bookmaker: What's your fighter's name?
Dennis: Clown baby.
Bookmaker: Clown baby? You mean like a baby clown?
Dennis: Not a baby clown, a clown baby - it's like a baby - it's like a clown that is a baby.
My morning was great.
My morning was great. Have a good listen to the traffic outside to work out how much time I’ve got, I’ve woken up pre-alarm, great success.
What’s brilliant is I can just lie in my bed until my alarm goes off, I don’t have to do anything. Fuck you world, I am king.
After a while I start thinking I’ve been here a while, maybe I’ll get up and out of bed pre-alarm!!!!!!! That’s right, pre-alarm. Before the pre-defined earliest imaginable time that i could previously consider getting up. Anyway, check my phone and it’s 9:45, not even bothered as I’ve got plenty of time.
[Mind working] 9 and 45 - what does that mean?
[Mind working] It’s before 10
[Mind working] My alarm is set for 7 and 45
[Mind working] If 9 > 7 then it’s actually post-alarm
[Mind working] I normally leave at 9 and 15 to get to work late
[Mind working] If (45 > 15) && (9 == 9) it’s impossible for me to leave on time for work
[Mind working] I’m meant to start work at 9 and 30
[Mind working] if (45 > 30) && (9 == 9) then not even having a shower the night before AND TIME TRAVEL COULD GET ME TO WORK ON TIME
[Mind working] SHEEEEEEEEET I’M LATE FOR WORK
